How to Successfully Court Russian Women

Russian Dating is still a mystery to many Western men. Some men are curious about the Industry but aren’t sure how to court foreign women. Others have been aware of the existence of Russian and Ukrainian Dating sites but have no idea what to expect or have been warned of Russian dating scams. Others may have tried their luck on typical domestic dating sites and been unable to find love for one reason or another. The next few pages are for all those gentlemen who wish to learn how to successfully court Russian or Ukrainian women online, whether you’re new to this idea or an existing participant who simply needs a little extra assistance.

In This Comprehensive Guide, We'll Educate Men About:

  • Myths and Stereotypes that foster unrealistic expectations for meeting Russian and Ukrainian women on Dating sites.
  • How to build a Russian Dating Profile that attracts women and gets results.
  • Tips for romancing Russian and Ukrainian ladies online.
  • How to successfully Chat to Russian women online ( what to say and NOT to say ) in live chat and written correspondence.
  • How and when to take a Russian dating relationship to the “next level”.
  • Five warning signs and ‘immutable rules ’ of online dating.

Have Realistic Expectations

If Russian dating has one cardinal rule it’s this: a gentleman must have realistic expectations. Many men waste a lot of time, money, and effort simply because they approach Russian dating with the wrong attitude and expectations that are not realistic. If a man wants to successfully court a woman from the former Soviet Union, he must carefully think about what he expects to get out of the Russian dating experience

Russian Women Stereotypes

Thanks to the myths and stereotypes associated with Russian women and Russian dating, gentlemen may not know what they can realistically expect. Here are 4 common myths about Russian women that encourage men to form wrong ideas.

Russian Women Are Poor and Miserable, Just Longing to Be Rescued From Their Drab Life

Perhaps the most common stereotype about Russian women is that they are poor and miserable and desperate to leave Russia. This myth is dangerous as it causes some men to think they can attract a lady with little to no effort and/or women on Russian dating sites should be grateful to Western men for rescuing them. While situations vary from woman to woman, the damsel-in-distress scenario is very rare. Russia has come a long way since the collapse of the Soviet Union, and many Russian women enjoy rewarding careers and fulfilling relationships with family and friends. Would several of the ladies like to live abroad? Yes. The same is true of Western women. Are Russian women desperate to escape Russia? Not likely. Men should not expect the ladies to flock to them simply because they’re foreign, nor should they half-heartedly court Russian women because they assume the ladies want to be rescued and are likely to overlook sloppy courting techniques.

Russian Women Are Scammers

While Russian scammers certainly exist, paranoia in the international dating industry has reached a fever pitch. Because of this, many men believe that the majority of Russian women Online are scammers who are only interested in money, gifts, immigration papers, etc. and that potential matches should “prove” they are one of the honest few. Naturally, this guilty until proven innocent attitude offends and repels honest Soviet women who are looking for love Online. Men who want to find their future wife on a Russian dating site should always give ladies the benefit of the doubt and treat women with respect. Russian women scammers certainly exist, but with a little common sense a man can easily avoid them and he should not allow scammer paranoia to derail his search for love.

Russian Women Want to Be Traditional Housewives

Many gentlemen often wonder if Russian women are really the traditional housewives they hear rumors about. After all, isn’t that why thousands of men marry Russian mail order brides each year? While some Russian and Ukrainian ladies do enjoy a traditional role in a marriage, others prefer a more modern partnership with both partners working outside the home, performing household chores, taking care of the children, etc. Every lady is different and if a gentleman attempts to assert an authoritative “manly” role online or assumes that every Russian woman he meets wants to be a traditional housewife, he is bound to repel or offend potential matches. Gentlemen should always treat a lady as an individual, rather than relying on regional stereotypes.

Russian Women Don’t Care About a Man’s Looks, Age or Income

Another common myth is that Russian women don’t care about a man’s looks, age, or income, only his personality, sense of humor, and other inner qualities. While these qualities are important, Russian women are only human and naturally want to find a man to whom they are physically attracted and someone who can financially support them should they decide to make the difficult move from Eastern Europe. It’s simply not realistic to expect an 18-yearold model type to fall for an obese man 30 years her senior nor should a man who is thousands of dollars in debt expect a woman to trade her familiar (and not necessarily poor) life in Russia for a life of financial uncertainty in the United States. Again, Russian women aren’t desperate to leave home and Western men must offer the ladies something more than the chance to live in a foreign country.

Russian Dating Myths

Myths about the Russian dating process can also be problematic. Here are 5 of the most common Int’l dating myths and how they can negatively affect a man’s experience on Russian & Ukrainian dating websites.

Myth # 1 - Conventional Rules Don’t Apply
Some Men are attracted to international dating because they believe Russian women aren’t as ‘picky’ as western women when it comes to dating courtship . So for some reason, they come to the conclusion that conventional rules don’t apply. Some of the most common ways these men typically deviate from standard dating practices and/or the more obvious mistakes they make are to propose marriage in the first email or two, discussing sex too soon, forwarding email attachments containing inappropriate photos (such as male genitalia), booking trips to meet with a lady without consulting her, and insisting on intimacy before a lady is ready, just to name a few. While courting a Russian woman is in some ways vastly different than courting a woman from a man’s own country (language barriers, cultural differences, distance, etc.), the core basics are the same. Men must still make an effort to be charming and polite if they want to attract a potential mate, they must still treat a woman with respect, they must still get to know a potential partner before proposing marriage or exclusivity, and they must still consider a lady’s thoughts and feelings.
Myth # 2 - A Man can Purchase a Wife
While most men would never accuse a traditional dating partner of being a scammer (even though he may spend hundreds of dollars on flowers, dinners, movies, and other dating expenses), some men do not hesitate to hurl this accusation at Russian women. Many men feel, whether they admit it or not, that ladies on Russian dating sites owe them something in lieu of service fees and chat costs. They seem to believe that if they have to shell out money for communication services, they should have their pick of any lady on the site and if a lady doesn’t appear to want to oblige that she’s somehow dishonest. While this may have been the case in the pioneer days of international matchmaking, it is certainly not the case today. Spending money on a lady does not entitle a man to any rights or privileges and any true Gentleman knows this. It should be obvious that, even if a woman were to not object to such unreasonable expectations, there is a chance that “expectations in exchange for gifts or consideration” may be considered prostitution.
Myth # 3 - Women are Desperate to Leave
Some men think that Russian and Ukrainian women are desperate to leave their homeland and come to America. Women are never in a hurry to simply packup and leave their family, friends and everything else behind. Since the collapse of the USSR, it is a much different life for Russians and Ukrainians. Long gone are the days of communists defections and/or elaborate attempts to escape the iron curtain by tunneling under the wall. However, due to rising alcoholism and drug abuse among Slavic men, and the associated increase in suicide and accidental deaths, there are not as many “eligible” bachelors available. However, this does not mean that Russian & Ukrainian women are desperate to leave. It merely means that they are willing to look beyond their immediate ‘dating pool’ (and nationality) in order to access a larger pool of eligible candidates. Russian women are admired for their beauty anywhere in the world, and beauty need not be desperate.
Myth # 4 - The Process is Quick and Easy
Those who are unfamiliar with travel and immigration laws think marrying a Russian or Ukrainian woman is simply a matter of meeting a lady Online, buying her a plane ticket and shipping her things from Russia. The process is a little more complicated than that. Men who are serious about marrying a woman from The Former Soviet Union must travel to the lady’s home country at least once (a little more complicated in itself) and if things go well, navigate the lengthy and complicated immigration process. Hundreds of men have successfully married Russian women and moved them abroad, but these happy unions would not have been possible without a lot of patience and persistence.
Myth # 5 - Russian Dating Isn’t for Everyone
There are pluses and minuses to any form of dating, be it the traditional dinner and a movie, speed dating, Online dating, or Russian dating. A man must know what he can realistically expect from each one and choose the option that works best for him. If a gentleman thinks that Russian dating matches his expectations, he should continue his search for a foreign bride. If not, he should concentrate on the other dating models which are plentiful in today’s society. Knowing what to realistically expect is key to having a successful Russian dating experience.

Have A Strong Profile

A gentleman’s profile is the first thing a lady sees, so it’s crucial that men on Russian dating websites strive to create the best profile possible. Though it may take time and effort, the results are certainly worth it.

Profile Photos

Some men think looks and photos are unimportant to Russian women, but the ladies, like women from any country, are drawn to profiles with quality photos and men who care enough about the dating process to make a good first impression. Here are a few pointers to help men select the best pictures for their profile.

Avoid Posting Low-Quality Photos

One of the most common mistakes men make when it comes to profile photos is choosing pictures that are low quality. Low-quality photos are ones that are blurry, out of focus, poorly framed, badly lit, etc. If a lady can not get a clear idea of what a gentleman looks like, after viewing his photo, then he should scrap the photo and start again. Some men may intentionally post blurry or shadowy photos in an attempt to look mysterious, or intriguing, but more often than not a lady will wonder if the gentleman is trying to hide something or if he is too lazy to find a good photograph. Quality photos are a must when it comes to online dating profiles.

A Messy Appearance is a Turn Off

Dirty, unkempt men rarely attract members of the opposite sex. In fact, a dirty appearance is one of the top 5 turn offs for Russian women. If a gentleman wishes to attract a lady on a Russian dating site he should post photos in which he appears clean and well put together. Wrinkled or stained clothing, unkempt beards or goatees, and rumpled hair are unflattering and may make Russian women wonder if a man is too lazy to take care of his appearance. Needless to say, this is not the first impression a gentleman wants to make on a beautiful Russian woman.

Accurate, Up-to-Date Photos Are a Must

If a man is sincerely looking for love and romance on a Russian dating website, it is important that he post an accurate photo of himself. Recent photos are essential, not photographs taken 10, 15, or 20 years ago. Additionally, photos of actors, models, sports athletes, musicians, or even cartoon characters are not appropriate. The goal for most men, after all, is to meet a lady to marry. Inaccurate photos, or photos that are blatant lies, undermine this effort and are viewed by women as attempting to start a new relationship - based - on a lie.

Post at Least One Photo

The only thing worse than an unflattering, inaccurate, or low-quality photo, is not posting any photographs at all. Research has shown that profiles with no pictures get the least amount of attention on all online dating websites, so if a gentleman desires to have a successful Ukrainian or Russian dating experience, he should post at least one picture.

Tell a Story

Pictures are an excellent way for gentlemen to share the story of their lives. This is especially true on Russian dating sites where anecdotes and information can get lost in translation. Rather than posting a simple head shot, gentlemen should consider sharing photos that showcase the people and things that are important to them. Photos of family, friends, pets, hobbies, and accomplishments, are just a few examples. Such images not only make a man seem warm and genuine, traits that women admire, but also help him stand out in a crowd of prospective Russian bride (or Ukrainian bride) suitors. A good profile photo is critical to attracting the interest of Russian women. Just as gentlemen are interested in the ladies’ photos, women want to see what the men look like. Men who want to improve their c h a n c e s of findi n g t r u e love on a Russian dating site should only upload profile photos that are accurate, of high quality, appropriate, and are flattering. Interesting photos that tell the story of a man’s life are also a good way to catch a lady’s interest and get a conversation going. These are just a few simple ways to increase your success.

Profile Content

When creating a profile, it’s important that a gentleman take care with what he writes and how he expresses himself. Here are a few tips to help gentlemen craft profiles that will help them get noticed.

Be Clear

Even though the women on Russian dating sites are not native English speakers, gentlemen should still make an effort to write complete sentences, use proper grammar and punctuation, and avoid text speak and unclear abbreviations. The ladies and their translators may not understand that “u r hot” means “you are hot,” or that “ROFL” is short for “rolling on the floor laughing.” Nor should they have to sift through excessive punctuation (I want a sexy lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or no punctuation at all. Clarity is always best when it comes to international dating.

Be Complete

Gentlemen should always take the time to complete, really complete, the “About Me” and “Looking For” sections of their Russian dating profiles. Space fillers like “Ask Me Later” or “I Don’t Know What to Say” are not appropriate substitutes for quality text. Sure, these sections can be a pain but if a man neglects to fill them out he risks coming across as lazy or insincere. Ladies typically respond much better to men who honestly describe themselves and thoroughly complete their profiles than to men who make half-hearted efforts.

Be Concise

Though it’s important that a gentleman fully complete his profile, there is such a thing as writing too much. Profiles are a way for men to give women a tantalizing glimpse into their lives and entice the ladies into wanting to know more. Writing too much can overwhelm women looking for love online, especially those who are not native English speakers. Profiles that are complete, yet concise do well.<\p>

Be Positive

Russian women like men who are confident and optimistic. In fact, in a recent survey Russian ladies listed these qualities as two of their biggest turn ons. Therefore, men should take great care with their profiles to avoid coming across as negative and bitter. Statements like “no cheaters, scammers, liars” or “I doubt this Russian dating thing will work” are best left unsaid. Instead, men should focus on qualities they DO want in a lady and show confidence in the Russian dating process.

The text in a gentleman’s profile should be clear, complete, concise, and positive. Though writing a quality profile can be a pain, women will appreciate the time and effort you put into this, as it is an important part of the dating experience.

Be Email Savvy

Email is the primary tool of communication on Russian dating websites so it’s important that gentlemen know how to use this highly effective tool. Here are a few tips to help suitors compose interesting and informative emails that stand out from the crowd and the best way to handle unsolicited emails.

Send Personalized Emails

While a gentleman can save a lot of time sending the same introduction letter to many women, personalized greetings get more results. Sincerely complimenting a woman on her hair, eyes, clothing, or something specific in her profile is a great way for a man to show he has read a lady’s information and is genuinely interested in getting to know her. Hopeful suitors don’t have to write a completely different letter for each and every woman. However, sending a personal greeting will help a gentleman’s email stand out in the crowd.

Don’t Send Sexual Emails

In general, a man should avoid sending sexual emails when communicating with women online (unless a lady initiates the conversation). This is especially true at the beginning of a relationship. Though it may seem like flirty fun, ladies who receive sexual messages are likely to think the men who sent them are only interested in sex. Despite what some may think, most of the women on Russian dating sites are seriously seeking long-term relationships, not just sex, and may be offended, annoyed, or turned off by men who send inappropriate messages.

Be Respectful

Women everywhere want men to respect them. Unfortunately, the online, semianonymous nature of Russian dating causes some men to forget their manners. How can a man show respect? By making a sincere effort to learn about a lady’s country and culture, by listening to what a lady has to say and not minimizing her thoughts and feelings, by attempting to see the international dating experience from her point of view, and by refraining from making crude jokes, just name a few. In short, a man should treat a woman the same way he’d like to be treated.

Avoid Negative Topics and Crude Humor

There are some topics a man should avoid in his first few emails to a Russian woman. Troubled finances, crazy ex-wives, health issues, and failed relationships are a few examples. Crude jokes, bathroom humor, and explicit sexual material are also big no-nos. In addition, a man should treat potentially explosive topics like politics and religion with care. That’s not to say a couple should never have a conversation about these topics but that they are best left for the later stages of a relationship.

Don’t Pressure a Lady to Respond

Most Russian and Ukrainian women do not have access to a home computer so they cannot reply to emails as quickly as gentlemen might like. When a man sends a message, he must be patient. He shouldn’t set a time-frame for a response. He shouldn’t demand to know why a lady hasn’t responded to a particular email. And he certainly shouldn’t accuse a woman of being a scammer if she cannot or will not reply. Women on Russian dating sites are free to do as they wish and are not paid or required to reply to every email they receive. If a suitor pressures a lady to respond to his email he risks being seen as desperate, obnoxious, or both.

Use Proper Spelling and Grammar

Most suitors think spelling and grammar is not that important when it comes to emailing a lady. After all, many women on international matchmaking sites don’t speak English. Though this may be true, men should still try to use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation in their correspondence. Why? Proper usage makes a gentleman’s letters look more intelligent and helps translators convey his messages more quickly and efficiently. Also, there are many ladies who are just learning English and reading and replying to a suitor’s emails helps them practice and improve their language skills. While a man’s emails don’t have to be perfect, the lessons he learned in school still apply.

Managing Emails

The women on Russian dating sites love to send and receive email for many reasons. Email is a great tool for women who want to practice reading and writing in English or those who want more in-depth information about a particular gentleman. It’s also useful for times when a lady’s schedule does not sync-up with a man’s, making chat difficult or impossible. Not only that, but many ladies love the anticipation of awaiting a response from a special gentleman. Many members feel obligated to respond to every introduction email they receive. While this sentiment is chivalrous, replying to every email is simply impossible and not a productive way for a gentleman to conduct his search. Men should think about the type of women they hope to meet, and focus on responding to women who meet his criteria. Though some men worry about hurting a woman’s feelings, they needn’t worry. The ladies know that a gentleman can’t possibly respond to every email and that an occasional lack of response is simply a reality of Online dating. How can a gentleman on a Russian dating website use email to his advantage? By always showing the proper respect, sending personalized messages, striving to use proper grammar and spelling, and by avoiding negative topics, sexual content, and unfair pressure to respond.

Be Chat Smart

Live chat is another important communication tool on Russian Online dating websites and one a gentleman must master if he wishes to ever successfully court Russian women. Here are a few tips to help suitors get the most out of live chat and video chat.

Be Optimistic

Who would you rather chat with? A Russian woman who says “I doubt this dating thing will work” or the one who says, “I saw your profile & I’m really impressed! Let’s chat!”? If the first impression a gentleman makes is that he’s a negative person who isn’t enthusiastic about meeting someone new, he’s likely to scare women away who might otherwise have liked him very much. Men who are positive, confident, and excited about Russian (or any) dating make for the best chat partners.

Keep It Light

It’s common for men to want to tell the ladies about the horrors of past relationships, the cost of Russian dating, scammers, or the difficulties of finding a Russian bride, but they should avoid these topics, at least at first. It’s best if a man use initial chats to describe his interests, learn about the lady’s interests and goals, and determine if she is a potential match. The serious stuff can come later.

Have a Few Topics in Mind

It’s helpful if a gentleman has a few topics in mind before chatting with Russian women. This can help him maintain a steady stream of communication and avoid wasting time on idle small talk. Work, school, music, and a lady’s hometown are all interesting topics that have the potential to develop into meaningful conversations. Every lady is unique so a gentleman may have to broach a few subjects before finding one that she is passionate about.

Be Respectful

Unfortunately, some men believe that the fees they pay a Russian dating service entitle them to certain rights. These men feel that the ladies are obligated to chat on demand, chat exclusively with them, and be willing to discuss any subject the man likes, including sex. In essence, some men treat Russian women like employees of an adult chat room. This behavior is not only disrespectful, but is almost certain to offend a lady and drive her away. Great chat partners are those who are inquisitive, optimistic, respectful, and men who make an effort to keep things light. Every gentleman has his own chat style, but these tips can help him improve his chatting technique.

Taking It To The Next Level

While exchanging messages with beautiful Russian women is fun and exciting, there really is no substitute for unrestricted chat or meeting that one special lady in a face-to-face setting. After a couple has communicated online for a few weeks or months and has built a solid relationship they may wish to consider exchanging personal contact information and planning a first meeting.

Russian Dating Sites and Personal Contact Information

Many reputable Russian dating websites do not allow men to purchase women’s contact information or immediately share their own. While this policy may seem annoying or unfair, it exists to keep international dating sites complaint with the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of 2005 (IMBRA), and to keep both gentlemen members and Russian ladies safe from harm and harassment. The “no personal contact info” policy is not forever. When the time is right, a gentleman may exchange personal contact information with a lady and the two can begin making plans to meet.

When is the Right Time?

Every couple is different and there are no set rules about when a couple should or should not exchange personal contact information. However, a gentleman should wait until he has established a special connection with a lady rather than requesting information from just anyone. It’s also important to know if a lady has a home computer or cell phone and if she’s willing and able to communicate off a Russian dating website. Establishing a solid relationship and being aware of a lady’s communication options and preferences will help a gentleman avoid unpleasant surprises.

Staying With a Dating Service Vs. Independent Communication

Once a couple has exchanged personal contact information, they can either continue to communicate through a Russian dating service or interact completely on their own. While many gentlemen are eager to chat “off the system” there are many benefits to staying with a service. If a couple stays with a Russian dating service, the lady can continue to use agency computers and web cams. This is an important benefit considering most Russians do not own home computers. The lady can also continue to use the service of agency translators and interpreters, another invaluable benefit. Not only that, but many local agencies also help coordinate meetings between couples and assist members when they are in town visiting ladies. And, of course, a site’s customer service team is an invaluable resource when it comes to questions, concerns, or mis-communications. Unfortunately, these benefits are not available to couples once they leave a Russian dating website service. Most gentlemen are eager to get off the system because they think it will save money. However, if a man were to attempt to provide a computer for his beloved to use, an interpreter to translate messages, and independently coordinate every detail of his international trip, he will end up spending more money in the long run, and/or leave a bad impression.


Though many men are intimidated by the thought of courting Russian women online, it’s not that different than courting other ladies online. Men must not fall for misleading myths and stereotypes and they must approach the process with realistic expectations.

A strong profile with compelling text and photos is important as is the ability to effectively chat with Russian women. Knowing how and when to request a lady’s personal contact information and when to take a relationship to the next level is also an important part of the courtship process.

We hope this information helps gentlemen to successfully navigate the exciting, exotic and seemingly mysterious world of Russian dating.

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